The Slightly Confused Woodworker

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The Echo Chamber.

Tonight I had planned on writing about my recently completed tool box project, what I like about it, and what I would change if I were to build it over again. But, I had a long and tiring day at work, and I don’t feel that I have the energy to write a somewhat entertaining and coherent blog post right now. Still, I am at the computer and of the mind to at least write something. So rather than tax my mind and actually think, I’ve decided to do what a lot of other woodworking blog writers do and just blindly repeat what I’ve read on some professional blogs. So here goes nothing…

Sawstop sucks. I buy my tools used. Don’t buy new tools. New tools suck. Lie Nielsen is the best. Lie Nielsen is overpriced. Amateurs don’t deserve Lie Nielsen tools. Amateurs should purchase the best tools they can afford. You have to purchase from a Lumberyard. Real Woodworkers rive their stock. Real woodworkers don’t use power tools. I hate power tools, but sometimes I use a table saw. You have to read the Anarchists Tool Chest. I only use three tools. My rasp is hand hammered. I hate Ikea. Ikea makes everything out of particle board and cheap veneer. Ikea is killing craftsmanship. I’m an anarchist. I call my tools ‘pointy things’. Home Depot sucks. Ikea sucks; I said that before. Ikea sucks. I’m on a hand tool journey. Moderns are stupid. Moderns are lazy. I call people Moderns. I left a comment on so and so’s blog and he replied so now we’re best friends. Steve Gass should be tried for treason. My tool set cost ten dollars. My shooting plane cost five hundred dollars. My workbench is a foot thick. Only buy hardware from a blacksmith. Amateurs suck. Amateurs must save the craft. Amateurs can’t sharpen. Your chisels suck. Amateurs suck. I call woodworking the craft. What you are doing is bad for the craft. What I am doing is good for the craft. The Kreg Jig sucks. The Kreg Jig is bad for the craft. The Kreg Jig is everything that’s wrong with woodworking. I’m a process oriented woodworker. I woodwork to preserve the craft. The craft is in danger. Norm Abram sucks. I never watched the New Yankee Workshop. The New Yankee Workshop is bad for the craft. You have too many tools. You don’t use the right tools. You shouldn’t be using that brand. Real woodworkers don’t use those tools. Buy this tool. Buy that tool. Don’t buy here. Buy there.

Wow! That was easy. Having somebody else think for you really is fun! Who would have thought that you can write an entire blog post without having one original thought? I’m a changed person. I’m thirsty; where’s the Kool Aid?


  1. David Frey says:

    You miss one: Get off my lawn! This is a great post. It illustrates how hard it is for a beginning/amateur woodworker to get good help or info from the web. Get some rest and I look forward to reading about the tool box soon.

  2. That’s another great post Bill. Finding woodworking as a fun pastime has been a real boon for me. Initially finding just how much passion was out there was awesome, then it overwhelmed me a bit and that’s coming from someone who has been around “the craft :-)” their whole life. When I say overwhelmed I mean in respect to opinions of a few which can be a bit too much to take on. Some of these opinions you have alluded too. I’m right in the middle of an e-bay sell off right now. Reason being is I felt I needed to experiment with tools so I could be better informed. For me personally, for the most part, I wish I just got on with making things with what I had and that’s where I am now. How we derive pleasure from this pastime is down to the individual and I for one don’t care at all how you do that. I can firmy say I’m pleased to be going back to focus on the making thinks how I want to do it.

    • billlattpa says:

      Thanks Graham. It seems the job of every “serious” woodworker on the internet to suck the fun out of woodworking. Like you, I’m doing it how I want to do it. I don’t appreciate everybody telling me which book I should like, how many tools I should own, where I should buy my wood, where I should buy my tools, how I should use my tools, and everything else in between. I woodwork for fun. Believe it or not I blog for fun. I’m all for advice. If somebody recommend a tool, or a lumber yard, or a good book, I’m all for it. But when people are out there saying: ‘You are ruining the craft if you shop here, or use that tool, etc.’ Then I want nothing to do with it, AND, I’m going to speak my mind about it. Ain’t woodworking great?

  3. Bill, get it right: rasps are hand stitched, not hand hammered. You suck.

    sincerely, a sarcastic fan

  4. dzj9 says:

    Nice thing about the postmodern times is that everyone gets to be right (or wrong).

    • billlattpa says:

      And everybody in between the north and south pole has a place to voice their opinion. One thing I would say is that when I present my opinion, I freely admit that it may be incorrect and I never present those opinions as fact. There are many woodworking bloggers who cannot make that claim, both pro and amateur. Thanks.

  5. Jonas Jensen says:

    This is great.
    As a Confused woodworker follower, I have the right and the obligation to use all the above statements against everyone who writes on the Internet.

  6. “Consumed with vitriol..” ,opinionated,no b.s. I dig it man. In fact you would fit right in at my family’s dinner table.ha
    Keep truckin-

  7. – Honing Guides are training wheels.
    – If you can’t sharpen your tools by hand then you are not a real woodworker.
    Yes Bill, I’m talking to you!

  8. Every time I hear the phrase: “the craft….” I get a mental image of a 12-pack of K.D. (Krapt dinner)…

    Love the “echo chamber”!

    However, I must register a complaint.

    I LOVE Ikea!!!

    Matter of fact I love it so000 much I wrote a 500 word essay titled “Why I love Ikea” and submitted it to a very popular w’working mag…and it got accepted! O’course, If I were a real woodworker, I’d name drop and tell you, but they haven’t given me an issue date, although they have compensated me for the article…

    So far my “real woodworker” bucket list is as follows:

    -make a project with over 100 hand cut dovetails–check
    -Make a project with pegged M & T joints-check
    -Make a project with bird’s eye maple found in an old barn and bought for $1.00/bdft–not yet
    -Rive my own oak–not yet
    -Befriend a blacksmith and get handmade hardware for cheap beer–not yet
    -Publish an article in a woodworking mag–almost..
    -Own at least 1 (one) L.N. tool -Check
    -Own one Bridge City tool –not even close.
    -Pick up an ueber-rare tool at a flea or garage sale and sell on da-bay for a cool grand–don’t even think about it.

    Edward in Vancouver

    • billlattpa says:

      I have to admit, I’ve never even been in an Ikea. I have nothing against it one way or the other. Congrats on the publication. PW runs something of a contest for submitting articles for their ‘End Grain’ section a few times a year, and from what I gather they freely take submittals. I tried to enter something once a few years ago and it was rejected so I haven’t tried since. Now, even if what I wrote was any good, I would have to submit it to another magazine because I don’t think anybody at PW would publish it.
      Your ‘real woodworker’ bucket list is a good one. I don’t think I’ve ever used more than a few dozen dovetails on any single project. I’ve pegged M&T joints so I make it there. I haven’t come close to finding exotic wood for next to nothing. I haven’t riven any green wood. I’ve never befriended a blacksmith but I have been to one. Never had an article published unless you count the tips and tricks section. LN-I have a few. Bridge City-no way. Found a rare tool in a shipwreck, flea market, or garage sale? Not even close.
      I was planning on a continuation of my “Cool Woodworker” post, and you’ve given me a few ideas. thanks.

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